I'm going to use this blog to chronicle my journey with bariatric surgery. My steps, be them slow or quick, I plan to detail them as much as possible. Currently I am going through my Nutritional Counseling, and Mental Counseling. I've got all my paperwork filled out and now saving up my $150 filing fee that the office requires before the surgery. I have lost 10 pounds of the 20 pounds I'm supposed to lose for the surgery. I'm getting excited to be the size of a normal person again. My whole life I have been under the impression that I was "fat". Throughout high school I was around 180 lbs, which is maybe give or take five pounds over what my weight should be for 5'10. Looking back now I realize that I wasn’t fat. I was just more developed then the girls who where my age and they didn’t like it so they put me down. Man if I knew then what I know now. When I was 24 I became pregnant with my daughter. I knew right after I looked at the stick, this was gonna be just my baby and I. With the stresses of being pregnant and single, and worrying, I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted. I gained almost 200 pounds. They warned me through my pregnancy that I was gaining to much weight. And I knew I was. But for some reason I couldn’t stop eating. It was a comfort. I ate because I was alone, scared and about to have a baby. Now almost 7 years later I am at 365 pounds. I have lost 10 pounds because of the steps that I'm going through for the surgery. Everything I have tried otherwise has been unsuccessful. I've gone from Dr Phil weight loose, Weight Watchers, Atkins, you name it I tried it. Now through my nutritional counseling and food logging and knowing I have to lose this for the surgery, slowly I'm losing, and it feels great. That 10 pounds felt like a million. I struggle with Depression and PTSD, which is going to be a challenge for me I know. I get depressed and the first thing I want to do is go to my good friend the refrigerator. It's a learning process; I need to find a back up for the fridge. I'm hoping it will be exercise. We'll see. One day at a time. One meal at a time. I look forward to the challenge.